Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I notice.. I wonder


I am sad.
I am sitting on top of my friend's desk in my white bay. My work here is done, but I have to wait for my blasted hip-hop class, where I happen to be the worse student, but for which I enrolled in some moment of temporary madness
I notice that the shiny leather on my not-so-old pair of black heels is coming off at the tip.. I wonder whether that happened, across the sleek floors of the office or on the ragged rock-strewn ways of the railway station, I cross every night to get home?
I look up to notice the people around me laughing... I wonder why a crowd is the loneliest place to be in sometimes?
I turn to walk away, its time for my dance class. I notice him sitting there, typing away at his computer.. I wonder why I felt sorry for him, when all he had to say was "keep your opinions to your self"?
I turn away and rush towards the lift. I notice that I have pressed the button for ground,. I wonder why I did that, since my class is on the 2nd floor.
I rush out of the building into the open night, the dance class forcibbly forgotten. I notice its cold enough to make me shiver. I wonder why I am not taking the warm red shuttle parked next to the main gate, and am instead walking the mile and a half to the gate, shivering in my rickety heels?
I notice the darkness, the cars zipping by, the bikes zooming past, the couples laughing, the shuttles stuttering.. I wonder why all this seems to be part of an uninteresting background today?
I notice the scores of little holes all around me on the road, and I wonder why is it that everytime I walk so carefully, my heel always ends up getting stuck in one, while today when I am walking like I don't give a damn I clear them, like they were never there..
I have reached the gate. I notice dozens of auto-wallas vying for my attention... I wonder who is this girl under my skin who is standing here and bargaining like a wizened old woman, when all I care about is getting to that bed to collapse on and cry my lungs out..
I am in the auto and I feel so listless.. like nothing in the world matters.. I notice that a tear just rolled down my cheek.. I wonder why I don't have a clue about when or what happened to made me this sad...
Its a red light and my auto stops with a shudder.. I notice a begger next to my auto trying to get me to put a few coins in his torn cap.. I wonder how he manges not to let them fall out of the numerous holes?
The light is green now, but we are moving slowly with the crowd.. I notice a group of saree-clad women in vibrant greens and jumpy oranges look down at themselves self-consciously as they get their picture clicked in front of a monument of red rocks.. I wonder if the seeing the picture later would make them smile, or would they wish they had done something different?
I notice that the traffic has thinned out and the lights are silent on this stretch of the road.. I wonder how much longer I can hide in my darkness..
I notice the driver of the truck in front driving erratically in the wrong lane.. I wonder if he'll pass a drunk test if a policeman stops him..
The last thing I notice is how soft the crunch of glass sounds as it crashes into a million pieces.. I wonder why it draws so much blood?

9 comments:

Rakesh said...

I notice how you put all your thoughts in lines... I wonder if there is a lot more between the lines. I notice how your mood is mellow, I wonder if you do this coz. you like being mellow and not because you actually are :)

zephyr said...

this was brilliant...

anuj said...

Sherry .. I used to think that it was only me who considered autos to be a sad thing .. and whenever sitting in an auto, thinking; and others passing by I thought they are happy or not sad atleast .. bt there could have been another sherry passing by ..

Moreover, whatever it is .. the eyez shouldnt be watery .. nothing to be spilled ..

take care

PS: Dance class .. interesting.

Impressionist said...

I agree with what rakesh said!

-I

anuj said...

abhi tak sad sad? :O

Zubin said...

WOW...!!

why is it that people write so brilliantly when they are sad?

umangexuberance said...

@at all
clarification time guys!!
I am not sad, this is a fictional piece. I know i made the ending too ambiguous and so none of u got it, but i liked it too much to change it.
You see, in the end, the glass we are talking about is that of the auto..the truck which she was wondering about innocently, just moments ago..crashes into the auto and kills her.
The moral of the story: That we keep noticing and wondering about little things and little problems but in the end they are all so insignificant.. 'coz everything is so fickle and it takes a moment for life to come cashing down, and that too from the least expected of sources..

Rakesh said...

just noticed, u see how all the guys are so concerned bout u being sad???

Blue Kite Dreamz said...

Sometimes..this was..no..how can u..no..i was..no....

sometimes...we are at loss of words..your post ...made me lose my words too..